The Anatomy of Peace uses a story about an executive in the midst of crises at work and in his family to communicate the concepts. I like this method because the points are easily understood - in the head and in the gut. I found that I had to read a bit, then step back and think about how it related to me. I'll be the first to admit that I found a bit of myself in struggles of the main character, Lou - and I think you will too.
The Arbinger Institute says through Lou's story that our hearts are at war when we view other people as objects, as vehicles, as obstacles, etc. to our own agendas. To make things worse, we find ways to justify why we're treating them in that way, and our interaction with them creates a chain reaction that is exactly what we don't want. The book calls it "collusion: a conflict where the parties are inviting the very things they're fighting against."
The Anatomy of Peace also discusses the "boxes" we go into that obscure the truth about other people, boxes like
- Better-than (I'm better than they are)
It's only when we can get out of the boxes and truly see the other person that we can resolve conflict and repair relationships.
This was quite a worthwhile read. If you engage your own heart when you read it the book might not be comfortable. But the discomfort will be exactly what helps you get the message.